what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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