There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
