i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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