My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize