Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
