I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He did a backflip because drugs
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
