I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
