i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
