I hate your face
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize