PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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