I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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