Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Ketchup is God's man juice
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
