he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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