The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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