dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
