Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
