I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize