Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
