OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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