i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
