Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize