You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
