called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
