Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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