Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
