Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
