nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
