Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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