it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
