At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
