i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
