My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
