I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
