Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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