He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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