Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
