just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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