Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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