Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
