Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
