I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
