Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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