God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
