Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
