1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
