Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Do you still have your period?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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