it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
