Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
