Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
