I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
