All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
