careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
