wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize