Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
