we have officially lost it.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
