Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
