His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
