I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
