She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
