Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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