So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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