I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
